Tough to the End

Tomorrow marks the 6 year anniversary of my grandmother’s passing. She was a special lady that I’ll always remember being happy, fun, and had the best laugh. My dad, Gary, wrote her eulogy which is below. When I read it, I am reminded how good I really have it. I’m sharing it with you as a lesson…

“Life is sometimes hard and we must learn to be tough to the end.”

Lora Dell Eaton was born May 25, 1925 in Flagler, Colorado to Orlo and Vinetta Searcy. Her sister Marie was two at that time and sister Norma Jean was born a couple of years later.

The family didn’t stay in Colorado long. Grandpa Searcy got a job with the Rock Island Railroad and moved the family to Lincoln, Nebraska, then to Rokeby, a small town near Lincoln. Lora Dell and her sisters graduated from Rokeby High School where they participated in every athletic, drama, and musical program available to them.

The Rock Island provided housing for mom’s family in Rokeby–it was a boxcar – the family called it The Shack. But when Grandma started working for the railroad too, their housing was upgraded– they moved into the depot.

Growing up in the 30s and 40s was not easy. The Dust Bowl started in 1934 and lasted about five years. At times the wind blew dirt for days. During one two-day storm from the Dakotas to Texas, 112 million tons of dust settled in Chicago. Mom said Grandma Searcy would hang wet towels over the windows to help keep the dust from blowing through the house.

The Dust Bowl was followed by the Great Depression, then World War II. All these events forged mom’s generation into the Greatest Generation. They didn’t complain or make excuses, they worked hard and sacrificed whatever was needed for their country and families. They were tough people.

At some point, the Searcy family moved to Scandia, Kansas. It was there she met and fell in love with Maurice Freed. They dated for a while and mom was working at Boeing in Wichita when she quit her job to get married on February 27, 1944.

Within 3 1/2 years, the couple had three sons-Tom, Gary, and Duane. About two years later, in 1950, mom was infected with polio.

In the 1950s polio was the medical scourge of the world. More than 3,000 Americans died of polio and more than 21,000 were left disabled. Intensive care medicine had its origin in the battle against polio, partly as a result of a shortage of iron lungs for those unable to breathe without medical assistance.

Mom wasn’t in an iron lung, but was hospitalized in Salina for about three weeks while her mother stayed with the boys. She was fortunate she wasn’t disabled but had ongoing leg pain the rest of her life. But she was tough.

In fact, she was so tough that within a year she had her fourth son-Mike.

As a teenager Maurice had rheumatic fever which resulted in heart damage. His heart continued to deteriorate to the point surgery was required. He, mom, and Mike went to Denver for the surgery and stayed with his sister Eldred. The other boys were spread out between family members and friends. The surgery wasn’t successful and he died in the hospital at age 33 in 1956.

So mom was 31, and a widow with four kids. Looking back on her circumstance it had to be depressing and overwhelming. But she was tough.

When the folks moved to assisted living a few years ago the kids were cleaning out their house and found the original Social Security declaration as to benefits to be received after Maurice’s death. Each child received $37.50 per month, and mom received $50 per month for a total family income of $200 per month, or $2,400 per year. In 1956 the average annual income in the United States was $4,800.

Although we didn’t have much money, the kids didn’t know they were poor. We never went to bed hungry, and never realized how much mom must have sacrificed to insure we had what we needed. Although there wasn’t much money, we had something more important — the love and dedication of our mother, who was tough.

Fortunately those dark times were nearly over when a young man named Doyle Eaton drove his Nash into our lives. He was in his late 20s and was a good-looking Christian guy with a heart of gold.

There must have been more to their relationship than the kids realized. Doyle owned a trailer park in WaKeeney and needed someone to manage it while he was working road construction out of town. And since we lived in a trailer, mom was the perfect candidate for the job, so off we went.

About a year and a half later on December 27, 1959 they were married at the WaKeeney Church of God. Last December they celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary.

What a guy she found. Not only was he willing to take on married life, but was willing to take on responsibility of helping raise four boys in their early teen years. She found the largest nugget in the mother lode.

Two more children came along, Doyleen, who turns 60 this year, and David. The family stayed in WaKeeney until 1964 then moved to Valley Center where they lived until they went into assisted living.

They were active members of the Valley Center Church of God and later Central Community Church in Wichita.

Through the years Lora Dell had a few jobs outside the home. A couple of them stand out.

Robert Hillman, somehow related in the Eaton, Noah, Webb conglomeration, was making pretty good money selling World Book encyclopedias and was willing to take on sales associates. Mom and Twila either had their kids raised or nearly raised, so decided they could make a little money selling World Book. Don’t know that they ever made a sale.

They would drive to their appointment and see several toys in the yard and decide someone with that many kids surely can’t afford to buy encyclopedias so they would go on. The next appointment might be in a poorer neighborhood, ”they probably need their money for food and bills” so they’d drive on. The next house might have run down cars in the driveway, no sale to be made there. So they’d take a break as house-to-house saleswomen and go have coffee and talk.

For a while mom was one of the lunch ladies at Abilene school across the street, but it didn’t last too long because she wouldn’t follow one particular rule. Kids on free or reduced lunches weren’t allowed to go back for seconds, and she thought that was unfair.

”Those kids come to school hungry and probably won’t have much when they get home,” she said. “They’re the ones who need it the most, so I let them go back whenever they wanted”. After a few meetings with principals she was let go. But in her heart she knew she was right.

Doing the right thing was a guiding principle in her life. And because of that, she provided an example of good Christian living to all that knew her–especially her kids, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. All their lives have been enriched by being in her family and her values continue to be passed on to each generation.

For many people the latter years of life become increasingly more difficult. Mom was no different. When it was no longer safe to stay in their home they moved to assisted living for a couple of years, then into memory care when they needed more help.

Each of us has stories about how mom touched us in a special way, or made us laugh, like the video Jana put on Facebook, and those memories of her will be ours forever. She will always be in our hearts.

She loved, was loved, and will be dearly missed by all of us. And she was tough to the end.

Jordan