External validation is a powerful drug. It falsely advertises to the most vulnerable parts of us, whispering promises it can’t keep. It tells us that if enough people approve of us, applaud us, or acknowledge us, the insecurity we carry will finally disappear. The challenge is its effectiveness ends at almost.
We get a hit of relief, maybe even a rush of confidence, but it never lasts. Just like any other drug, the high wears off and we’re left right where we started, sometimes feeling even emptier than before. That’s because validation from the outside can’t fill what’s missing on the inside. It’s a moving target. No matter how much we get, it’s never quite enough. The alternative isn’t about pretending we don’t care what anyone thinks. We’re human… of course we care. But when our sense of worth is rooted in something deeper than applause, we’re no longer at the mercy of others.
And that’s where this simple truth comes in: happiness is a choice, not a set of circumstances. It’s not the result of hitting a certain number, winning a certain award, or hearing the right words from the right people. It’s a daily decision to anchor your worth in who you are, not in who notices. To free yourself of the constant hide and seek game you’re playing with external validation, you just need to remember one small bit of wisdom… you, and only you, are the appraiser of your worth. You know this to be true because you would never consciously tell another human being to allow another person to write on their appraisal report. Worth is subjective and is self-regulated. If you’re tired of feeling worthless, then stop handing over the fucking pen. External validation will always move the finish line. Internal conviction removes it.
live freed,
Jordan
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