Throughout my career, one of the biggest discoveries I’ve made is the importance of keeping my clients in an open, curious mindset. When I train coaches, I constantly remind them: “Great coaches take responsibility for the mindset their communication creates.”
Below are five simple but powerful approaches I’ve developed over the years to create an environment of learning and growth. Whether you’re a coach, a parent, or a leader, these tools work if you take the time to master them.
1. “If I could play your thoughts like a podcast, what would I be hearing right now?”
Sometimes people are hard to read. Instead of guessing what’s on their mind, ask them. This is similar to saying “Tell me what you’re thinking,” but framing it like a podcast helps them externalize their thoughts in a way that feels less intimidating. Don’t assume. Get curious and ask in a way that makes them feel safe to answer honestly.
2. “I’m going to make a statement, but I want you to hear it as a question. You can tell me if it’s true or not. I don’t have the right to tell you what’s real in your life.”
In coaching, we want to avoid triggering fight or flight. But sometimes, growth requires hard truths. Framing a truth this way softens the delivery and keeps them engaged in the conversation. It’s strategic language to help people face what needs to be faced without shutting down.
3. “I don’t think I’m totally getting this. Fill in the blank for me… The challenge I’m having is…”
People often get tangled in their own words and lose track of what they’re really trying to say. Coaching conversations are spaces where clients are able to have their internal conversations externally. When you notice someone struggling to find their words, slow them down. “The challenge I’m having is…” invites clarity and helps them get to the real issue instead of circling around it.
4. “Explain this to me like I’m 10 years old.”
Much like the last tool, this one forces simplicity. When someone explains something to a child, they naturally slow down and think more carefully about their words. Adults often hide behind jargon or complex stories but if they can explain their thoughts simply enough for a kid to understand, you know they’re finally cutting through the noise. That’s where real coaching work begins.
5. “The last time I felt truly free was…”
Most of us are more free than we realize, but our minds build subconscious cages—unseen, but deeply felt. Exploring when they last felt free unlocks the ingredients of their creativity, courage, and self-expression. We’re after the full expression of both their faith and their fear so we can work through both together.
Mastering these tools isn’t about having the perfect script. It’s about creating conversations where people feel safe enough to be honest and supported enough to grow.
The more you practice these approaches, the more natural they become. And when that happens, the real work—the work that changes lives—can finally begin.
live freed,
Jordan
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